Oh my gosh I've been a little ball of stress lately. I need to find a way to relax! I'm not sure what's going on with me but lately I can't stop worrying about things. Mostly Drake and Logan. Sometimes I just worry that I'm not giving them all the things they need... I worry every single day that they aren't getting enough to eat and when they do eat that it's not the right kinds of food. I hate mealtime! First I have to try and think of something to cook that I think they will like. Then I make it and most of the time it seems like they won't touch it. I feel like I'm constantly in the kitchen trying to give them bites of this and that, ugh! It exhausting! Then I've also been worried that I'm not teaching them enough. Am I reading to them enough? Playing enough? Talking to them enough?? Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about how it's my responsibility to raise them and try and help them to be good people.
And I'm having some 2nd-child guilt. How there's half the pics and videos of Logan as there are of Drakey. I remember with Drake it was like the world revolved around him and every minute was spent playing with him and showing him new things. And when Logan came along, his needs were eating/sleeping/changing... and still a lot of my time was spent with Drake. Helping him with things and teaching him. I would make Logan happy and content but a lot of my attention went to Drake. But now suddenly Logan seems so grown up and his personality is totally developing right in front of me. And he loves to learn new things, and he needs more attention and stimulation now. But I feel guilty for not giving him more attention all this time... I'm showing Logan toys now that I showed Drake when he was 10 months and teaching Logan songs that I taught Drake when he was just little. It just feels like I've wasted a lot of time. Anyway! That was a lot of rambling! I just needed to vent I guess and I hope I'm not the only one who ever feels this way!
Makayla's 1st Birthday!
23 hours ago

























